youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize