So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
