i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
