i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
As shirtless as possible
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
