STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
