I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
