so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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