i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
