just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize