Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
