Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude. I can hear the air.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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