we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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