"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
