As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
