Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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