On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
