those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
