I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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