Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
