I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
