Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Randomize
