At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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