I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
