I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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