I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
