FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
God, I missed his penis.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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