Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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