I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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