Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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