There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
