im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
