i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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