It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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