I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what day is it and did you see me today?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
