is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
There are leaves in my underwear?
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