I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
