when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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