I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
