I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
