he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
