so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
