I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
