My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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