Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Randomize
