Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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