Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
