Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
