Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
