shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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