I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize