she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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