Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
