I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
