STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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