the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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