I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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