her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize