i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize