Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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