You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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