Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
