i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
