Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
