I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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