Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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