Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize