im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
